I am not: disillusioned (atleast not anymore)
I love:  my family, my kdphis, my friends and my hun
I hate: crazy insane people who make up stories and try to convince other people that they're right (some of you know who i'm talking about)
I fear: getting too close..but it's already too late
I forgot: myself a long time ago but i'm slowly recovering
I remember: my phone number and my SSN on good days.  i'm not like the lyricist
I imagine: all the worst case scenarios 
I hope: i think most people know what my deepest hope is...sigh...hopefully we will all reconcile
I crave: many things. two of which the unreality circle could fulfill. haha.
I regret: nothing. i have learned from all my mistakes and if i didn't then atleast it's a memory
I care: too deeply
I want: one thing
I feel: lonely
I dont listen: to anyone. everyone should listen to me. and if they're not listening to me, i forcefully make them hee...
I hide: by the annenberg building at the top of the hidden stairs where no one finds me and i find out too late that hide and go seek has already finished
I pretend: that i'm a princess...oh wait...I AM

I drive: like a madman on drugs
I sing: when i'm happy or when i'm really sad and desperate
I cry: all the time. lion king. cry. kodak commercials. cry. any romantic movie. really cry.
I write: not enough, i like to talk instead.
I wake: only when i have class. oh wait. that's a lie. i wake when i'm forced to by others and even then sometimes i don't.
I breathe: what kind of question is this? oxygen?
I play: hide and go seek?
I find: other people?
I miss: you know who. and all the others i had to say goodbye to
I learn`d: that in life, there's always sacrifices. you just have to learn when and what you want to fight for and when and what you have to sacrifice.
I know: not that much.
I say: anything i want. which often leads to problems.
I change: my mind a lot.
I fail: in any Wharton class.
I dream: of a nice house, nice car, two boys and one girl and my hunnie by my side
I wonder: how long till i fulfill my dream
I worry: all the time
I fight: when people put their arm around my man or if my girl nel needs me to back her up after she pushes a little asian girl at a club. haha.
I need: a life
I am: a drama queen.

it seems like bad news, embarrasing moments and all other horrific things that can happen, do happen and happen one after another, when you're already vulnerable, trying to kill your spirit.  I mean take today for an example:

1. I have heartburn like nobody's business

2. I'm studying for my Advanced Corp Finance Midterm today and I still don't understand anything

3. As I'm studying in Huntsman, some lady walks in and says, "I'm not sure if it's my place to tell you this but your pants are all the way down and people have been walking by, looking at your thong"

4. My parents are still not talking to me, but are now using a 3rd agent to try to convince me to go to a missionary school in Hawaii for 3 months, telling me that I should consider this although i have other obligations, ie. finding and moving into an apartment, graduation, convention, TRAINING for my job...all of which I would miss.  Now they're trying to get in contact with Merrill (behind my back) to see if I can start work later. ARGH!!!!!!!

So I officially have the worst luck/life in the world right now.  Can it get any worse??? BRING IT ON.  I'd like all the shit to just fall on me now, cause I have given up!

funny experiences/thoughts of the week:

-I saw a large black woman at CVS shove bottles of lotions down her pants.

-My Japanese Pop Culture class is filled with skinny white greasy dorky pervs who probably breathe heavily if they get near a girl and most likely love anime for more than "educational" or simple "recreational" reasons....ugh...

-I am horrible with color schemes which is another reason I need to be successful, atleast successful enough to hire an interior decorator

-when there is a marathon of SVU (Special Victims Unit) showing on TV, my life as an ambitious college student comes crashing to an end

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.">

*sigh* i am the perfect girlfriend aren't I...hahahhaahaha JUST KIDDING....I DO care about presents...what girl doesn't??? and I like just hanging out cause I'm lazy...muhaha...and yet Mark still loves me :)

hey so has anyone else noticed that my eyes look funny in the picture on this page?  i look like one eye is out of funk or something. do my eyes really look like this??? oh btw warning: if you stare too long at the picture, I start looking like i'm cross eyed. 

p.s thanks bo for the color change idea.  i might have to change all the colors on this page soon tho cause it's giving me a headache.